Why am I not putting my best efforts???
Inspite of my sincere wishes to perform well , i am not being able to do that . The reason is quite simple , the sincere wishes should be backed by some concious efforts . But inspite of knowing that why am i not doing that . I want something to happen and infact , knowing how to do it I am not doing it . Am I the only one like that ??? At the end of the day I always keep repeating to myself I should perform well in all aspects of life whether its education , sports , communication with friends or anything relevant . But that day never comes up . Why ???? I suffered a lot after my engg . where there was a rough period through my life . I was jobless for almost a year .36 out of 48 companies rejected me in the final rounds .Oracle , Microsoft , Satyam ,Infosys , ADP ,CTS,TCS .. and the list goes on where i was proved that I was not fit for the indutry . I then realised that I need ome concious effort on my part to come through with a good job and a handsome salary . I spent 14 days for GATE and secured 92 , I got throug Infosys , I was selected at IIITB , secured 11th in AUCET . If 14 days of effort gave me a lot ,then imagining what IIITB gives for an effort of say 6 months or so from now till placements .
The BIG "BUT" is inspite knowing what can I do and what can I achieve I am not doing it . When will I change ??? BUt no one sees this in me except for a very few close friends . Everyone see me as a hardworking guy , but my insider knows how hardworking I am . Classmates keep saying that You always stay in your room studying but god only knows what I do in front of a laptop and a book before me .I am feeling ashamed of me .I need to do it at any cost .I need to perform . BUt when its going to be ??? GOD!!! anyone plz answer . I get distracted at very smallthings , I cant sit for a while n study , I cant express my feelings properly , my communication is very bad , I always leave the other person confused in what I speak , I cant speak to girls ( face to face ) , I get irritated quickly , I complain a lot , most of the people around me dont see me as their friend , I am always neglected in a group , I cant flourish with others , no one like me a lot (check for my fans list at orkut -- just one ) , I dont have many friends , no one understands me well even my mom ,I always underperform , my father always scolds me for my performance ( its a curse to come from a family of gold medalists ) ,I didnt do anything good to others nor to me as well and the last is when will I find a solution to all these problems .
Readers plz comment on it .
posted by Viswanadh @ 6:37 AM
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